There is no god and I am proof.

Showing posts with label communism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communism. Show all posts

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

OH GOD WHY

So this next script is one that Sarah and I performed for a podcast and then audacity crashed and fuck fuck fuck you audacity. So here it is, reprinted for posterity.

Space War 1969

The moon.Two astronauts are talking amongst themselves.

Buzz: Ain't the moon beautiful, Neil?

Neil: That she is, Buzz.

Buzz: [pointing at the ground] Good lord! What's that?

Neil: It looks like some kind of hammer.

Buzz: Strange thing to find on the moon. And look at this footprint. A large, metal man must have stood here.

Buzz: And over there! More footprints. And a sickle. What does this mean?

Neil: Hold on, Buzz. Don't follow the prints yet.

Buzz: Why not, Neil?

Neil: Because I've got a sneaking suspicion that the robo-communists have followed us to the moon.

DUN DUN DUHHHH. Cut to robo-communists.

Marxbot: HA HA HA. TODAY WILL WITNESS THE RISE OF THE ROBO-COMMUNISTS.

Leninbot: YES.

Marxbot: YES.

Leninbot: YES.

Marxbot: YES.

Leninbot: YES.

Maxbot: YES.

Leninbot: YES.

Enter Neil and Buzz.

Neil: Ice to see you.

Marxbot: What

Buzz: It's chilling.

Leninbot: I do not understand.

Marxbot: MALFUNCTION MALFUNCTION.

The robots explode.

Neil: See, Buzz. Communism just doesn't work.

Both: Ahahahahahahahahaha bleep blorp zam clam.

Anyway, tomorrow will witness the rise of me.