There is no god and I am proof.

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

OH GOD WHY

So this next script is one that Sarah and I performed for a podcast and then audacity crashed and fuck fuck fuck you audacity. So here it is, reprinted for posterity.

Space War 1969

The moon.Two astronauts are talking amongst themselves.

Buzz: Ain't the moon beautiful, Neil?

Neil: That she is, Buzz.

Buzz: [pointing at the ground] Good lord! What's that?

Neil: It looks like some kind of hammer.

Buzz: Strange thing to find on the moon. And look at this footprint. A large, metal man must have stood here.

Buzz: And over there! More footprints. And a sickle. What does this mean?

Neil: Hold on, Buzz. Don't follow the prints yet.

Buzz: Why not, Neil?

Neil: Because I've got a sneaking suspicion that the robo-communists have followed us to the moon.

DUN DUN DUHHHH. Cut to robo-communists.

Marxbot: HA HA HA. TODAY WILL WITNESS THE RISE OF THE ROBO-COMMUNISTS.

Leninbot: YES.

Marxbot: YES.

Leninbot: YES.

Marxbot: YES.

Leninbot: YES.

Maxbot: YES.

Leninbot: YES.

Enter Neil and Buzz.

Neil: Ice to see you.

Marxbot: What

Buzz: It's chilling.

Leninbot: I do not understand.

Marxbot: MALFUNCTION MALFUNCTION.

The robots explode.

Neil: See, Buzz. Communism just doesn't work.

Both: Ahahahahahahahahaha bleep blorp zam clam.

Anyway, tomorrow will witness the rise of me.

2 comments:

Apocalyptus said...

The full majesty that was the reading, is apparently lost forever. I will spend my nights awake, mourning for what could have been ;_;

Fenghar The Nord said...

That was beautiful.