There is no god and I am proof.

Showing posts with label office comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label office comedy. Show all posts

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

THE COLD BITES THE FLESH

THE FLESH BITES THE SELF. THE SELF BITES THE SELF THE SELF THE SELF BITES THE SELF.

Yeah, anyway. Going to a week long drama thing, but also hoping to see inception tomorrow. Just went for a run, got ma ideas on and this one is set in an office. What was that sound? It was your mind. You are truly awake for the first time in your life.

Ah Believe!
An office. A meeting. A dashing young man is presenting to the companies board of directors.

John: I tell you a story! Of a dreamer. And there is a twist at the end. You will be surprised.

François: And you see, if we take a risk, we only run the risk...OF SUCCESS

John: François' words were powerful. But what does Mr Green think?

Mr Green: Well yes, but we must think of the company.

John: FUCK YOU MR GREEN

François: To HELL with the company!

John: François, let's run away together. We'll buy an orchard and you can sing me songs and buy me shoes.

Mr Smith: Isn't there any way we can incorporate your ideas in a safer way?

François: I don't know if there's any way to trial it without revealing its whole nature.

John: Your hair is beautiful, François. Do you use like a conditioner?

François: You're a production company, you take risk!

Ms Harman: We take risk, but we can't show child pornography.

John: But that's the best kind of pornography!

François: There's artistic justification! The child pornography is but the final note of a visual crescendo.

John: Oh, François, your words. They

Mr Smith: But there are others out there who only revel in the destruction of art via the masses. They can't be reasoned with because they don't reason with reason.

John: They intoxicate me.

François: I have a gun!

François pulls out a knife.

Mr Green: That's not a gun!

John: This is a gun!

He pulls out a gun and shoots everyone in the scene before pointing the gun at himself.

John: The twist? I AM FRANÇOIS!

OH MY GOD DID ANYONE SEE THAT COMING?
Shit I forgot to put weed comedy in with the office comedy. Goddammit I am so stupid.














tangerine

Monday, 17 May 2010

Dude we're all the same? So we're all gay?

I was out running yesterday (Yes, I went to bed instead of doing this. I had already turned my computer off when I remembered that I should have written this up. Shut up.) and I found a can of Diet Coke in a box that said 24x Diet Coke. It was sealed and the last one in the box so I took it and drank it and it was fucking delicious.

I love my run. Anyway this one is about office life.

Exploring more than just Sexualities
An office situation, just like last time. David is middle-management, called in to see his boss. Tony.

Tony: Daveeee

David: I prefer David.

Tony: That's great Davy. Listen you must have heard a lot of talk about promotion recently.

David: Yeah, but didn't Ted already get that?

Tony: Dave, you're going to be much higher than Ted. Much higher than all of us.

David: What.

Tony: We're sending you to an emerging market.

David: Oh no.

Tony: Come over here Tony. [Tony is standing by the window] Look up there.

David: I can only see clouds.

Tony: That's because it's daytime. When it's dark what would you see?

David: I guess, stars.

Tony: What else, dave dave?

David: [cringing] Nebulas?

Tony: Don't hold out on my Dave boy!

David: *sigh* You'd see the moon.

Tony: [Sitting back down] Guess where you're going.

David: Am I going to the moon?

Tony: Yeahhh!

Later on the moon.

David: This is shit.

A communicator buzzes on. It is Tony.

Tony: Hey, Dave.

David: Yeah?

Tony: You settled it?

David: Probably as much as I'll ever be.

Tony: Good. Now you're probably wondering what your duties are.

David: You didn't tell me while I was on Earth. Even though I asked.

Tony: Well no one wins when we play the blame game.

David: What are my duties?

Tony: See that pickaxe in the corner of your settlement?

David: The one with the label Cheese Miner?

Close up of the pickaxe. It has a brand name, Cheese Miner.

Tony: It's for mining cheese. Get at it!

David: This is the worst day ever.

Anyway that was a good idea, a medium execution making an okay sketch. Not filler. Definitely not filler. My favourite part was the direction "Later on the moon". Not many people get to write that do they?

DO THEY DAD? I'M BEAUTIFUL