Mixing it up with a song or two

Good Morning Tokyo!

No, no need to wait.

Why, the whole whole waits for you!

Yeah that'll do.

Long names are cool

Look at the name of this blog! That is long and cool.

Hehe. That is what she said. Except I am not a she. I believe there has been a misunderstanding. I write differently when I'm naked.

I only use one hand.

Understanding

I think I've worked out why the IT crows is so funny: it all builds up to one moment near the end which is absolutely hilarious and made of all the little funny jokes that you like from early on. I don't think I could do that now. I write sketches!

I say write but...

Let's write a funny article!

George opened his bookcase. "Oh golly," he said, "Look at all these books. I'll never finish them now!"  But at that moment in bounded Timmy who proceded to whip out the ginger beer. Yum, thought George, Ginger Beer! Then they had some jellies.

That was the worst article in the world.

I'm not apologising

HAHAHA lies. I am apologising. I have not updated and the only person disappointed is going to be future me. Fuck him, he is not me. Today we're going to try and write some non-script related humour. Maybe, the same way people write for articles in humour magazines (who buys humours magazines?) but I'm not sure that could work for me.

Scripting is alright, I guess. I'm not sure of the quality of my scripts as I haven't had anyone actually critical read them. I like them, but to be honest they might not be the best. I'd really like to work with someone else and write with them, but not much oppurtunites because I am in school and there you get graded on your own work. Not the work you did with Timmy who just happens to be the best in the class and would you believe it he brought out your best side in fact you seem to have developed a very similiar writing style to Timmy.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.

Shit, I need to write something.

Timmy: I'm so glad we can work on this project together.

Chris Yes. Yes it will be most...educational.

Timmy: You paused there.

Chris: Did I? Perhaps it was something you...imagined?

Timmy: You're still doing it.

Chris: Do you want to know what happened to the last person that...interfered with my affairs?

Timmy: You paused again.

Chris: I was forced to...terminate him.

Timmy: That means kill right?

Chris: I was forced to...terminate him.

Timmy: Terminate is a stupid euthamism for kill.

Chris: I was forced to...terminate him. The man who meddled.

Timmy: I mean, a good one would be something like "sort him out". That implies that you did something for the people in the know, and the people who don't know anything will assume you sent him to a training seminar or something.

Chris: I am implying I may have to...sort you out.

Timmy: On some sort of Training Seminar?

It's totally hilarious

A band is on stage. They are about to start playing. The manager is up there and is about to introduce them.

Manager: May I present...the John Wayne Experiment!

Frontman: We're not called that anymore.

Manager: What?

Frontman: We're not called that anymore.

Manger: What are you called, then?

Frontman: We haven't decided yet.

Keyboard player runs up and takes the mike.

Keyboard: I've decided, we're called the Dead President's Society!

Crowd cheers.

Frontman: I've told you we're not called that!

Keyboard: And I've told you, we are!

They scuffle, manager breaks it up.

Manager: Does it really matter what you're called?

Frontman: Actually, yes. Yes it does matter, because we're called Club Armstrong.

Manager: No, you're not.

Frontman: Why not?

Keyboard: Cause we're not poofters that's why not!

Manager: I won't have homophobia in this band!

Keyboard: Oh yeah, and who's going to stop me? Your boyfriend?

Manager: Clarence is a pacifist and you know that!

Keyboard: Sorry. I overstepped the mark.

Manager: Yes. Well.

They look at the floor. Shot of the crowd looking confused.

Manager: Will you accept a hug from an old homosexual?

Frontman: I...I think we'd all like that.

They all hug.

Right, that was a proper script. I've proved to myself that I can still write and that's good. I actually thought that bump on the head had made me not be creative anymore. Or creative in a different way.

I have no fears except of people lurking around my house.

Like, totally a blog post

I have just watched Morris Dance Off. It was great and now a short script by esteemed writer John Evans. He is trying to write without stopping, and I think this will go well for him.

Janice: Hello, Janice.

Janice: Talking to yourself? Again Janice?

Janice: I couldn't help it. It was the only path left.

Enter Tyrone.

Tyrone: But not the only path for me.

They embrace.

Janice: When-

Tyrone: As soon as I heard about-

Janice: No! Don't-

Tyrone: About the email.

Janice: Noooooooo! No one was supposed to know!

Tyrone: Janice, it's out there and it's true.

Janice: How can it be, when I'm...here?

Tyrone: I'm sorry.

John has started writing in a perculiar style. I think it's very easy comedy to write for me, this talking without saying anything much style. I've already done a sketch like this, but I think that this one is going to have to be last one. Ideas are probably better than just rambling.

Unless of course BBC comedy likes rambling.

Please buy my script BBC. Please!

A Drama

This is part of the Foot Theatre thing, but if that falls through it's still usable as a script.

Janice: But, RICKY!

Ricky: But nothing, Janice. I'm going.

Janice: RICKY! Don't go. Don't go RICKY!

Ricky: I'm sorry, Janice, I'm sorry. But we all gotta go sometime. My times now.

Janice: You think that Ricky, but I know you feel different. 

Ricky: Janice, I love you.

Janice: Then why don't you stay?

Ricky: I...love another woman...yeah that'll do.

Janice: But...but why?

Ricky: I know it, Janice. I know it.

Steven: Hello chaps!

Ricky: Fuck off, Steven.

Janice: Yeah, Steven.

Exit Steven.

Ricky: What a nob.

Janice: What were you saying?

Ricky: I was saying Janice...that I love you!

Janice: Oh, RICKY!

Foot Theatre

Woooh. Ideas.

Under the Sea. A little bit gay.

Space. Already been done, but it could be good.

In the City. A gangster play. That sounds amazing. I'm going to write that, then. Oh wait, that requires a big cast of people. Not feet.

I shall instead do a parody of Television.

The Snowman Cometh

Snow.

Foot Theatre

Every year I write a Foot Theatre and every year they are a bit shit because I don't plan them. The last two were, in order, medieval and in the future, so I think I need to set something in the present.

Maybe take the piss out of Keith William's plays.

That would be funny. Right, his plays are set in Newcastle and they have lots of songs in. And they're too long. I think I can only do the first one. Thats not good for a parody, I shall have to abandon that idea.