New Character

Okay, it's a football match. And here is the commentary.

Announcer: And it's Wells coming up the inside, he's taken possesion and - yes - he's kicked the ball into the stands. The ball-boy comes out with another ball, Wells punches the ball-boy and takes the ball and kicks it into the stands.

Second Announcer: This is unheard of in Footballe. He has kicked another ball out of the stadium, and is now returning to his goal.

Announcer: Wait! He's standing up! He's run onto the pitch and taken the ball from the hands of the goalie. He has kicked it into the stands.

Second Announcer: He's being lead away by the Police.

Announcer: He's broken free! He's running to the top of the stadium, I don't believe this Wells is pulling a sniper rifle.

Second Announcer: For those just joining us, Wells is at the top of the stands and has just shot 6 of the last 7 balls in HillSide Stadium.

Announcer: Wells has just dived from the top of the stands and is...Wells is flying like Superman.

Second Announcer: Perhaps more like the Green Lantern.

Announcer: Or Captain Marvel?

Second Announcer: Whoever he's like, Wells has just kicked the last ball out of the stadium.

Announcer: This will go down in Footballe history.

Second Announcer: Wells has just saluted the stadium and flown to the moon.

Announcer: I am naming my child Wells. He is so awesome.

I love this sketch idea.

Bitey McBiterson

In he strolls, a pistol in his holster, a knife on his belt. He walks up to the counter and orders.

"Three gobstoppers, bitte." He orders with a slight German accent. The woman at the counter gasps. None have survived three, her eyes seem to say.

He takes his gobstoppers from the counter and then, in front of everyone, places each one carefully into his mouth. He chews each in a matter of seconds, without the slightest pain in his jaw. He slowly walks out of the Sweet Shop Saloon and glances around before remounting his horse.

These are the adventures of Baron von Iron Jaw. The new series this Autumn on BBC2.

Yet Another Character

Standford. He stands alone.

Seriously, he wears a trenchcoat, sunglasses and a trilby hat. He stands under lamposts and phones people up. And tells them about himself.

There's a dark truth to Standford. He really does stand alone. Until he meets his new girlfriend, Cheryl. She completes him, and he no longer stands alone.

Also, before he meets Cheryl, he sometimes follows random people just to scare them.

Characters Galore

It's a superhero who is a Bat, but also a platypus. I know, it actually hurt my brain how awesome this idea is. He has all the powers of a bat, and all the powers of a platypus.

GoblinTron. He isn't a superhero, but is a villain, Batypus's nemesis. He is a Goblin, who had an accident, and now his entire left side is robotic. He has an evil claw and a goblin hand. He has a small crime empire based in the town.

Another gang of supervillains, the Bungees. They bungee-jump around, into banks and things and steal stuff.

That's the main gang. Perhaps I'll add more. I don't think Powerful Man comes into this.

Character

Powerful Man!

He flies in as a superhero, only to be taken hostage. On Earth, he is the most powerful superhero, with one horrible weakness. Aluminium, which happens to be the most common material in the earth's crust. So, terrorists constantly threaten to destroy him and take away Earth's only protector.

Powerful Man flies in.

Powerful: I have come to save everyone in this building, and arrest you terrorists.

Man

Terrorist: I've got an aluminium can.

Powerful: Again? How do you people know about my weakness?

Man

Terrorist: The adverts on telly.

Cuts to the adverts.

Man: Are you tired of being captured by Powerful Man?

Villain: Uhuh.

Man: Do you wish you could just strip him of his powers?

Villain: Sure do.

Man: Well now you can, with Aluminium!

Villain: Wow, Kevin, that's great!  And are you sure Aluminium, really works?

Man: Yes I am and if you're not satisfied you can always write to us.

Villain: But if it doesn't work, won't Powerful Man just have killed me?

Voicover: Aluminium! It really works. Paid for by Aluminium Mining corp.

Advert ends.

Powerful: I really hope they run out of money.

Man

He is hit on the head by an aluminium bar.

I can really see this character taking off. Not only does it showcase my own fear of aluminum, it lets everyone know about the dangers of advertisement.