Okay, tonight you will witness the first post for a long time without any gay sex in at all. In fact it will be hetero friendly and include some bits about runners running a race. Race? Why that sounds like excellent fun.

Commentator: And he goes round the first bend, still in pole position.

2nd Commntator: Is he so fast because he's black?

Commentator: Um, what?

2nd Com: It's a simple question.

Com: No. Other reasons.

2nd Com: Okay. That was a racism test and you scored pretty low. Well done.

Com: Phew. I did think it was one of those tests. They just get your friends to do them?

2nd Com: No, John. I'm actually a racism inspector who went deep undercover to investigate various people. Everyone I'm friends with will get a racism test or has already undergone one.

Com: What about your wife?

2nd Com: She's not my real wife.

Com: Oh, so we're not really friends.

2nd Com: How could I be friends with you? You're asian.

See? A little twist at the end there that makes for hilarious comedy that isn't afraid to cross boundaries and also make predictable jokes.

Get Back to Your Roots

It's the new game show from ITV, "Get back to Your Roots!". It's a hybrid show, involving mindless guesing ( a la Deal or No Deal) and mild racism all involved in the central theme of puns around the word "root".

Round One

We've hidden some root vegetables in these boxes, and all the contestants have to do is work out what's in their box.

Is it a potato? Yes. A lot of them are potatos.

Is mine a potato, also? No. It's a carrot. Some of them are carrots. We could only remember two root vegetables.

Is mine a carrot? No. It's a potato.

Round Two

We've found some people who aren't from the United Kingdom and dressed them in shiny mirroball suits. Guess what country they're from, using only they're face.

India! No. How could that possibly be true?

China! Close, it was Japan, but her parents are from China.

Africa! Ok, first of all Africa isn't a country, and also that's quite racist to assume that all black people are from Africa. He's from North America. He's a mormon and likes long walks in the rain.

The black man and the Presenter begin to kiss.

Israel! That's...correct. How did you work it out?

I'm blind to race.  I see. That's very liberal of you.

I see only the person.

Round Three

In which we mix Rounds One and Two together. All the contestants have to do is guess which root vegetables grow in the native countries of this set of people.

Potato! Correct. Potatoes grow in most places.

Potato! That too is correct.

Carrot! Wrong. You really should have said potato.

I didn't want to take the easy way out.

Rhubarb! That's not a root vegetable. And even if it were, it's wrong.

And at the end of the game we total up the points and the people with the most go  on an all-expense-paid trip to Sheffield.

The show is made in Australia.

A little bit Racial

Okay. Today we have a sketch or tv show that explore race and its repurcussions in our society. I think it's funny as well. Although it might not be. It's a bit like Shcroed - Schroeding - Shroodonger's- the quantum physics thing with the cat.

A couple a sitting on a park bench. It is a heterosexual couple. They are white.

Man: Have you ever noticed how black people -

Presenter: Let me just stop you there. How can you be sure this conversation isn't going to be racist?

Man: I guess I can't.

Woman: It sounded a bit racist, but I wasn't sure. It could have been an observation.

Presenter: Well, I know one way to find out.

He holds up a device.

Presenter: This device contains a hotline to several people, representing most of the races in the world. You need never be racist again.

Man: What about intentionally?

Presenter: It doesn't actually stop you from being racist, just advises you on what is and isn't racist.

Man: What about anit-semitism?

Presenter: Oh, didn't you hear? That's alright now. It's post-modern and ironic.

Woman: It's about bloody time.

Presenter: Of course it's not alright! Why would it be alright? Why would abusing someone because of something they can't change be alright?

Woman: I just thought -

Presenter: You thought wrong, love.

Man: I'm not marrying a Nazi.

Woman: But, I'm not a-

Presenter: Come on, let's go.

Presenter and Man walk off into the sunset.

So I was thinking that this could be like the end or something of a documentary about race. It could be a bit light-hearted after all the talk about the KKK and things like that.