Let's Get Political

So Gordon Brown done a silly thing. He was still attached to his microphone and he called a woman who said there were too many eastern europeans a bigot. AND SO I SHALL EXTRAPOLATE WILDY in this shorter than usual post.

The Debate

Usual set-up.

Gordon Brown: Allow me to reiterate the fact the Mr Cameron's immigration policy will not work.

Davey: Oh, am I a bigot? Are you going to call me a bigot now?

McBroon: No I-

Davey: Ladies and gentlemen, this man hates all voters and I have proof.

Clegg: Look at them arguing. It's fucking pathetic.

Cameron: Here is the proof! It's a drawing I did of Brown sitting in a chair and I drew in his thoughts.

Closeup on the picture when David Cameron pulls it out of his pocket. It is Brown thinking about stabbing people.

Dave: This man here in the blue shirt [he points to the picture] looks very similar to that guy in the blue shirt [points into the audience].

Clegg: Are you fucking joking?

Everyone votes for Clegg and then we get a good country.

That's sort of a best case scenario. Anyway I might update again later today.

Race Car Drivers

Listen this one we're just gonna roll with it. We're gonna take a smooth dive and also I'm going to start regularly updating proppers and that.

Zoom! A formula one car drives past. Followed by several more, but they're not as loud as the first one because they're not as good drives as "RACER COOL". Who is Racer Cool?

No one knows.

Anyway, Racer Cool and his car go past the finish line, he does a lap of honour and then gets out of his car. He gets on a waiting motorbike and arrives at a posh party. He takes off his racing clothes and he is wearing a tuxedo. He takes off his helmet for the first time and we see that it is the Prime Minister, but we don't know this because no one has called him it yet, but just wait and it will happen. He goes inside.

Party-man: Hello, Mr Prime Minister. Or should I say Tom?

Tom: Yeah, call me Tom.

Party-man: We were just watching the racing. Racer Cool won again. If only we knew who he was.

Tom: If only. [Takes off his shades. He's wearing shades by the way, but not now.]

Party-man: Yeaaaaaah. Would you like a er-

Tom: I already ate.

Party-man: Good-good. [long pause] What did you have?

Tom: Humble pie.

The Who play like in CSI.

Party-man: Does that mean you're humble? I thought that phrase means you got something wrong.

Tom: I couldn't really think of a cool food right then and there.

Party-man: That's um...it uh...yep, coming!

Tom: [Looking at the viewer] No one called him. [A tear rolls down his cheek]

Well that's that. It's been a while since I wrote a script as I went like that, and I'm pretty sure they're of a better quality when I think of them first. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed because otherwise you are closer to death, but not really because a couple of minutes here or there hasn't done anything, and if you hadn't read this perhaps you would have been run over by a bus, but now that you have read it the bus has already gone past.

I just saved your life.