There is no god and I am proof.

Monday, 1 February 2010

Race Car Drivers

Listen this one we're just gonna roll with it. We're gonna take a smooth dive and also I'm going to start regularly updating proppers and that.

Zoom! A formula one car drives past. Followed by several more, but they're not as loud as the first one because they're not as good drives as "RACER COOL". Who is Racer Cool?

No one knows.

Anyway, Racer Cool and his car go past the finish line, he does a lap of honour and then gets out of his car. He gets on a waiting motorbike and arrives at a posh party. He takes off his racing clothes and he is wearing a tuxedo. He takes off his helmet for the first time and we see that it is the Prime Minister, but we don't know this because no one has called him it yet, but just wait and it will happen. He goes inside.

Party-man: Hello, Mr Prime Minister. Or should I say Tom?

Tom: Yeah, call me Tom.

Party-man: We were just watching the racing. Racer Cool won again. If only we knew who he was.

Tom: If only. [Takes off his shades. He's wearing shades by the way, but not now.]

Party-man: Yeaaaaaah. Would you like a er-

Tom: I already ate.

Party-man: Good-good. [long pause] What did you have?

Tom: Humble pie.

The Who play like in CSI.

Party-man: Does that mean you're humble? I thought that phrase means you got something wrong.

Tom: I couldn't really think of a cool food right then and there.

Party-man: That's um...it uh...yep, coming!

Tom: [Looking at the viewer] No one called him. [A tear rolls down his cheek]

Well that's that. It's been a while since I wrote a script as I went like that, and I'm pretty sure they're of a better quality when I think of them first. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed because otherwise you are closer to death, but not really because a couple of minutes here or there hasn't done anything, and if you hadn't read this perhaps you would have been run over by a bus, but now that you have read it the bus has already gone past.

I just saved your life.