Anyway, I had an idea and here it is. It might be a long one; I had a lot of ideas to put in it.
The Flow of Information
A library. We see a wizard dressed in all blue clothing. He has a long beard.
Hydronicus: Greetings! I am Hydronicus, master of water!
Laura: How can I help you?
Hydronicus: Yesss, these books won't scan at the self-checkout?
Laura: Can I take a look at your card?
Hydronicus: Of course.
Laura scans the card. With a machine, not with like her eyes.
Laura: You've got some fines amounting to over £3. When it gets that high you can't borrow books.
Laura: So, do you want to pay the fines now?
Hydronicus: Oh I'll pay the fines. IN WATER. Drown in knowledge, scum!
Hydronicus recites a spell and all the books turn into cups of water.
Hydronicus: I don't want to get your floor wet. Someone could trip.
Steve: [Interrupting the story] Are you a mentalist?
Laura: That's an offensive term.
Steve: You know what? If you had just told us that a pipe burst, we would have believed you.
Laura: You don't believe me? Come down to the library this afternoon.
Steve: Well you've replaced the books with cups, but I don't see the big deal.
Laura: Drink this.
She hands him a cup. A label on the cup says "Of Mice and Men". Steve drinks nearly all of it.
Steve: Wow! They're going to get a farm. It's going to be okay. There'll be rabbits.
He finishes the drink and starts to cry.
Steve: Why'd Lenny have to die?
Laura: So. I think it's a good way for the library to operate.
Steve: How do you return books?
Library worker Paul and customer, Henry.
Henry: Got a return here.
Paul gets to his knees and cups his hands.
Paul: I'm moving to Spain.
Paul: Turns out my new job is just to get pissed on.
So, some lovely topical humour there. Also: librarians. And I based this on a true story.
Oh shit, yesterday's update should have been called "The Mane Attraction". I'm such a damn sexy, handsome idiot.