There is no god and I am proof.

Saturday, 19 June 2010

STREAK

Let's end this pattern of not doing anything for a week, by doing something in just 5 days. Here's something I thought of on Tuesday, which I am posting on Friday. HOWEVER IT IS MUCH MORE.

Ladies.

Anyway I was out running and I saw a rabbit on a construction site. It was brown and I only saw it because it was silhouetted against the horizon and then another one came out and they fought for a bit and I couldn't tell who won because they all look the same.

I'm joking I have so many rabbit friends.

Chasing some hot Tale
A father has his children and some other children that are not his around the fire. It is the past and he is telling stories.

Father: Long ago in the ancient past, when the world was young and made of pain, there was a giant called Hugor.

The screen goes all wavey or whatever and let's zoom into the story.

Hugor: HAHA! Fuck you little people I'm a fucking giant.

Hugor stamps on people because he fucking can.

Hugor: This is fun.

Father: But then the god of fountains spurted out of Hugor's penis.

Fountor: why hello

Hugor: OH GOD WHAT

Fountor: be not afraid

Hugor: WHY WHY IS IT IN MY DICK

Fountor: i am a god

Hugor: GET OUT

Fountor: you must destroy my enemy, fulthunin

Hugor: Who?

Fountor: this is the problem with large pantheons

Hugor wanders off to stamp on people. Except Fountor is in his cock so how does he do that? THE MAGIC OF TELEVISION.

Fountor: hey

Hugor: Why aren't you gone?

Fountor: fountains are really shit

Hugor: I know.

Father: Then Fountor went on his way. [popping sound]

Hugor walks away to go find funathin or whatever it was.

Hugor: Hey, are you Funathin?

Funathin: No.

Hugor: Wanna get high?

Funathin: Yeahhhhhhhh

Father: Smoke weed evreh day!

So, the high concept for this was that stories used to be really sexual in the past so I've put the rudeness back into fun kids stories.

I just want to be on tv.

2 comments:

Fenghar The Nord said...

BUT THEN I GOT HIGH
BUT THEN I GOT HIGH
BUT THEN I GOT HIIGGHH
la dee da da dudda da

Apocalyptus said...

I approve of your initiative to put the rude bits back into Fairytales.
Did you know that Sleeping Beauty was woken up by her baby that she'd given birth to after the Prince gave her a naked hug and then left her there while she was still asleep?
Obviously a parable warning children of the danger of date rape.