There is no god and I am proof.

Thursday, 6 May 2010

Bed time, but first things I need to do

Okay so it's election day, the polls are being counted up. It's all very exciting but also I need sleep, so it's a quick script this time around.

A Window into Men's Souls
A school classroom. A teacher is being harassed by his students.

Mr Glascock: I am trying to teach chemistry!

Student: But what about your glass cock?

All students: hahahaha!

Mr Glascock: I'll show you my glass cock!

Student: What.

Mr Glascock: [Enraged] RAAARGGHHH

Suddenly all the windows shatter and he dives out of them. Not all of them, just one. He's not going in and out like a weird dance.

Later, at the bank.

Mr Glascock: I demand you give me all of the money here!

Teller: Why?

Penn: Yeah, what?

Mr Glascock squeezes his hand closed and shatters all the glass.

Teller: Is that why?

Mr Glascock: Yes!

Teller: That's more of a threat.

Mr Glascock: I AM THE GLAZIER OBEY ME

Teller: God, whatever [he gives him all the money]

THE GLAZIER leaves.

Bank Manager: Did you give him all the money?

Teller: Yeah.

Bank Manager: Why?

The teller squeezes his hand tight and some glass shatters.

Bank Manager: Oh, right.

Later, the army have the GLAZIER surrounded.

Glazier: How did you do this?

Soldier: We didn't bring any glass?

Glazier: My one weakness!

Soldier: A lack of glass is your weakness?

The soldier's gun turns into glass.

Solder: Shiiiiiit.

Glazier: Cool.

Soldier: I'm going to throw this at you if you don't come quietly.

Glazier: God, whatever.

Later at the court hearing.

Judge: I sentence you to death [bangs gavel. GLAZIER turns it to glass just before he does]

Judge: Aaarrghhh. Man, that hurts. [He dies]

Glazier: Can I go then?

Lawyer: [shrugs]

THERE WE GO. It was too long, had too many all caps and while I was writing it I wasn't wearing any clothes.

oh sexy images. If only I had mentioned that earlier this post might have been sexier. GET USED TO IT.

2 comments:

Apocalyptus said...

Oh hell yes.

Fenghar The Nord said...

SUCH AN AWESOME POWER. I wanted him to dive out of all of the windows so bad.