Git yer coat Martha We aint staying ter be Insultered

So there is some kind of problem with the back of my feet? Like it feels like the skin is coming off. God it's horrible, I'm sitting here with my feet on a pillow because it hurts to put them on the floor.

I feel my run may have exacerbated the problem.

Live Free, Die Sexy

TV Exec office, this guy is pitching to this other guy. You get the idea; it's been done so many times then why am I doing it again? Trust me with this, if you like puns you're gonna like this one.

Tom: So, ideas?

Peter: Okay, it's an airline-

Tom: Booooring.

Peter: Run by chimps. Title: Serve peanuts, Get Monkeys.

Tom: Gold. Here's a cheque for infinity pounds.

Peter: Next idea: It's an airline-

Tom: Been done before.

Peter: Run by vampires. Title: Creatures of the Flight.

Tom: [on his buzzer] Tracy I'm gonna need some new pants, these are all covered in my semen. Where now?

Peter: It's an airline-

Tom: Sounds terrible. Leave the pitch on my desk.

Peter: But-

Tom: Now, now Peter. You know the only butts I like are the ones on secretaries.

Peter: Okay, I'll write it up.

It is later and dark outside. Tom is sitting down to look at the pitch on his desk.

Tom: My god. [He pulls out a gun.] I am not worthy of existing in the same universe as this idea. [He shoots himself]

Somewhere else.

Peter: I hope he liked my idea about a gameshow based around shaving.

COMEDY GOLD! But seriously, I think this is actually a good sketch. I mean I could imagine seeing this in That Mitchell and Webb Look. One of their worse sketches, but it could be good.

Actually, most of their sketches are observational, aren't they? I guess this explains the lack of gameshows about shaving.

I hope you understand my underlying message that Jesus is our saviour. Not those dirty immigrants.