I crave them so hard.
But a Man
An office situation. Stan is a guy in a shirt and tie. Also trousers. I mean I would have thought that you would have assumed that, but I had to tell you. God damn.
Anyway these guys call Stan into a room. They're behind a desk like in an interview.
Oliver: Come in, Stan.
Stan: Hi, guys.
Tina: Hello, Stan. We've got two pieces of good news for you.
Peter: You've been selected for that promotion.
Stan: With -
Oliver: With the raise.
Stan: And -
Oliver: And the car.
Stan: [Smiling] So what's the other piece of good news?
Peter: Henry will be shadowing you to remind that all glory is fleeting.
Stan: I guess that could be...useful.
Tina: Oh more than useful. We've ran the figures. This will result in you being more productive in a managerial context.
Cut to two guys working on a computer program.
Jack: Have you run those numbers yet?
Jack: hahahaha. Fuck, man.
Ross: Give me another hit of that.
Back to the office.
Oliver: Anyway, he'll be following you around now. Also he reminds you all glory is fleeting by making all glory fleeting.
Stan: So he's not going to just tell me?
Peter: THIS IS THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY
Cut to: Stan has just finished a presentation.
Stan: And as you can see, our department has managed to increase sales and cut costs.
CEO: That's very impressive. Stan, was it?
Stan: Yes, sir.
Henry: He masturbates at work.
Stan: No I don't.
CEO: You would say that.
Henry: He thinks about shoes while he's doing it.
CEO: Gross, man. How'd you find out?
Henry and the CEO start whispering to each other, occasionally glancing over to Stan and laughing.
CEO: Yeah, so anyway we're docking your pay.
CEO: I'm not saying outloud. It's fuckin' gross, man.
Henry: Damn right.
Montage of Henry making things difficult for Stan. I mean beyond what you just read. You can tell what he's doing even though there's no sound. Actually maybe there is sound. I'll let whoever is in charge of this bit figure it out.
Alone in the office.
Henry: Yep, Stan.
Stan: I hate you so much Henry.
Henry: Do you?
Henry takes off his mask to reveal he is Tina.
Tina: This was an elaborate test.
Stan: Did I pass?
Tina: I don't remember. The actual test was a long time ago. I just never found a good time to put a stop to the whole Henry thing.
Stan: I'm still manager right?
Tina: We'll let the computer whizkids decide.
Jack: You do that thing?
So. Comedy about weed. This is the first time I have written that and probably the last time. But seriously people with jobs in computing need to do more weed.
Seems like the code would be better. I don't know how. Maybe the arrays would be in the form of smiley faces?
I know nothing about code.