There is no god and I am proof.

Monday, 2 August 2010

Change and Change Again You Hordes; Madmen, Demons and Angels

Boom boom, friends. Anyway the pathetic attempt at the epic was kind of awful, but anyway. Finished The Republic, about to read The Symposium. Expect me to advocate sexing up young boys in the near future.

Anyway, tonight we're going to retread old terrority i.e. Cobra man also the island of people made of hands.

None of us have got Arms
Cobra man uses his snakely powers to get aboard a ship to the isle of people made of hands. I expect he is looking to score some dope crunk.

Cobra Man: This hold is cramped as some shit, motha' f'ck'r.

Above deck.

Captain Stewart: What was that?

Master Bates: Sounded like a poorly thought out superhero complaining.

Captain Stewart: Haha, your name is masturbate! Also I thought all of the superheroes had died.

Master Bates: It seems John forgot that Cobra Man died in his inaugural script.

Captain Stewart: I don't...

Sailor: What's he going to say?

Rigsman: I don't know, but I bet it will be insightful.

Sailor: I can't imagine something that isn't.

Rigsman: Our captain is naught if not a man with a high place in his heart for words.

Captain Stewart: care.

Sailor: Well that's my expectations confounded.

Rigsman: AS MINE.


Ol' Bill: LAND HOY

Captain Stewart: We have GPS, Bill!


Captain Stewart: Bill, I don't like you.

Ol' Bill: Captain, my feelings for you cannot be expressed with mere words.

Captain Stewart: The answer is no, Bill.

Ol' Bill: I bought a ring.

Captain Stewart: Oop well we've reached land so we have to do the reaching land ritual where I shoot someone.

Rigsman: We've never done that before.

Captain Stewart shoots Ol' Bill.

Captain Stewart: You know what, the reaching land ritual is dumb lets not do it again, we agreed?

Cobra man: [tired and out of breath] Yes, it is a barbaric custom.

Captain Stewart: WHA

Cobra man: It is I, back from the grave.

Captain Stewart: Which one?

Cobra man: The original, however I have forgotten my name, probably due to the resurrection process (Lazerus pit?).

Captain Stewart: Get off my ship.

Cobra man: Okay.


Cobra man: Urrghhh you people are made of hands!

Henry: That's racist.

Cobra man: You look weird.

Henry: Maybe I think you look weird.

Cobra man: Whatever you're made of hands.

Did you notice how I didn't utilise cobra man's powers at all? It's called character development and I am expert in it. Anyway, this might be the first time I have continued an idea over two updates and I wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow's script didn't finish this story.

I also wouldn't be surprised if this was the last time we saw Cobra man. Did you notice Captain Stewart? In my mind his first name was Patrick. I forgot the name of the character he played in Star Trek.

Anyway, fuck you I don't care


Fenghar The Nord said...

My loins are heavy and full to bursting. However, your story has staved off the infection for the time being. Thank you, John, for allowing me to live on this earth for just a little longer.

Apocalyptus said...

Hold my innermost hand.