There is no god and I am proof.

Monday, 19 April 2010

Halfway to Helsinki

You know what maybe we'll not introduce this one just let the words speak for themselves, hmm?


HMMM? Dat's what I thoight.

Hipsters don't lie
An apartment. Three strangely dressed people are lying on couches, discussing fashion and trends.

Henry: I don't like, follow the mainstream.

Farquar: I know right? I just, you know.

Shar: This is so dumb you guys, we're like, talking?

Henry puts a cigarette out on his thigh because he heard it was cool.

Henry: I'm going outside to sigh.

OUTSIDE
Henry is sighing at cars as they go past. He goes inside again.

He goes for a walk in the woods while indie music plays.

INSIDE

Henry: Fuck this noise, I'm starting a band.

Shar: I'm singing.

Henry: K.

Farquar: And I'll DJ.

Henry: Triple K.

Black guy: That's RACIST

Henry: What's more racist is that you noticed it.

Black guy: Dayum. [eats some fried chicken and water melon - Writer's note, I have lots of black friends.]

They all go for a walk in the woods while indie music plays.

INSIDE
It is the scene of the first performance of the Racy Racists. It sounds like horrible noise and all the audience are hipsters taking photos of each other.

Henry: It's really difficult to play the guitarflute with everyone with the camera flashes.

Farquar: [Record Scratch]

Henry: This band needs more people.

INSIDE
Henry sits at a table while others bring their instruments. They are all fucking weird instruments like the one in Professor Branestrawm.

Henry: [Cutting off his ring fingers] You're all in the band.

All: Yes. [they begin to grow moustaches]

Henry: Except you [points]. You've got the wrong image.

Man: You're pointing at the wall.

Henry: [Pointing at the man] You're out of the band.

Man: Didn't even want it anyway. [puts a cigarette out on his thigh. Henry laughs, because that is no longer cool]

Henry sighs.

The band go for a walk in the woods while indie music plays.

INSIDE
Henry has decided that there are too many people in the band so he gathers everyone together.

Henry: There are too many people in this band. So we all have to drink this cyanide.

Everyone takes a sip

Shar: This is so dumb you guys.

There you go a witty attack on the hipster community, long may those crazy cats live.