There is no god and I am proof.

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Sad Men

Today I got to spend 3 hours at school waiting for a lesson that never happened. Those 3 hours were also part of a lesson that never happened. So while waiting I did some homework and wrote this bitching scriptes, bizzybizzy lone.

Man: It is the dark where I live, and the dark I send you.
He pulls out a knife and stabs everyone in the supermarket where this is set. He begins furiously masturbating over the dead bodies.

Projector closes and Sam steps in front of the projector. It is a room of ad execs.

Ben: How does this sell pepsi?

Sam: I'm not sure you understand. This came to me in a dream!

Ben: Yes but-

Sam: A dream!

Ben: Well...can we see the posters?

Sam: Sure!

The posters of pictures of the ad execs sleeping.

Ben: Is that me? Greg. [He shoves the person next to him] Greg, I think that's you, there.

Greg: I like it.

Ben: Greg, you can see your penis!

[Cut to shot of Greg's penis. An UNCOMFORTABLY long shot.]

Sam: It's to show YOUR dreams. [points at the execs]

Ben: We need to vote on this.

[Voting. It is Ben's turn]

Ben: I'm going to vote tactically and say yes.

Sam: [counting up votes] That's six yesses and one no.

Ben: Who was the no?

Sam: I've gone off this idea.

Ben: But it's got Greg's penis!

[Greg's penis is shown again.]

Sam: Wait, what's that written on the tip?

[Greg's penis' tip has pepsi written on it.]

Greg: What.

There was originally a drawing of the tip with pepsi written on it, but I can't be bothered to scan it or whatever.

Also Greg represented misery. I hope you all realised that on your own, because if I have to explain it to you I'm not sure I'm proud of that.


Fenghar The Nord said...

I fucking laughed hard. Fuck you. Pepsi penis tip.

Apocalyptus said...

Needs more Greg's penis.