There is no god and I am proof.

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Pills

So I had this idea while lying in bed, THREE FUCKING DAYS AGO. God, I hate myself for how long it takes me to have an idea and then write it. I have literally nothing else that I am proud of in my life so why do I neglect this?


Anyway this next one is about pills. I sure hope Fenghar doesn't get any ideas.

A Pill Within
An advert for a pill. Visuals follow what the voiceover says

Woman: Do you work with fish or are a surgeon?

Man: Tired of constantly throwing up because your job is disgusting?

Woman: What you need is Nodisgusta, a pill that destroys the part of your brain that creates disgust for up to 12 hours! Possible side effects include a small blue spot on the left hand and insanity.

Man: Order now, and say goodbye to malpractice suits for getting vomit in someone's liver.

A bar. Some creepy men look at a woman.

Creep1: Why hello there.

Creep2: Uhhh, you're creepy.

Creep1: Hey look, that broad has a blue spot on her left hand.

Creep2: Dude, go for it.

Creep1: I totally am. [approaches woman] Are you a virgin?

Woman: Oh my! How candid of you.

Creep1: Let's go do it.

Woman: Woooh!

At the creep's apartment, he is ploughing into the woman like nobody's business. A close-up of her hand as we see the blue spot disappear.

Woman: Uh uh uh uh uh ah AHHHHHHHHHHH

Creep1: [He is in full tribal make-up] What's wrong?

Woman throws up everywhere.

Creep1: Maybe I should just act normal.

Enter Creep2.

Creep2: No! Don't betray who you are!

They hi-5.

So a hard-hitting script about the dangers of pills. But one of our number already knows all about the dangers of pills, don't they?

FENGHAR

Has enough time elapsed for it to be funny yet? Ah fuck it he'll never know. I don't even think he reads beyond the first line.

ALLAH DIED FOR YOUR SINS

1 comment:

Fenghar The Nord said...

HAHAHAhAHAHAHF hOAHAOf hsdofhazofhasdgopsdghiASOPDHAOPAHFGOPahFopshahgasdofijs P SIFJAFOP IDJ LDFITS FUNNY CUZ I SUISICIDEDd JA HHAHAHHAHOG HGOGSHGOD gvldfkvcol

And I do read beyond the first line