There is no god and I am proof.

Sunday, 25 April 2010

It IS intentional, shut up

Well it looks like the lengths of time I am spending away from this blog are getting shorter. Used to be there'd be months between bouts of updating, but I only took a break of what, a week? It's shorter than a year I'll say that much.

Anyway, the following piece is intentionally awful, to show you what you COULD be getting if I was some stupid guy who's stupid (Have we started already? NO SHUT UP)

WHAT LIES BENEATH MY PANTS
The days are short and the nights are cold on Arlax 5. Everyone has three arms and a fin on their back due to evolution and because it's the style of the time. The third arms don't really work and the fins are edible. I mean they don't taste very nice but still.

Vergt: The space plague is eating my crop of wheot. (That's like wheat, but on Arlax 5 they call it wheot). What am I going to do?

Rwell: I suggest we call in the GyerkHark, the United Planet's only saviour!

Vergt: YES

[They do so]

GyerkHark: What is the problem?

Vergt: My wheat is being destroyed.

GyerkHark: What is wheat?

Vergt: Sorry I meant wheot.

GyerkHark: Yes. I will investigate.

Vergt: Don't take too long Gary, my mum says I have to go home at the end of this.

GyerkHark: Joooeeeel!

Rwell: Why don't I have anything to say in this script?

Gary: Because, Steven, remember when you broke that thing? (Writer's note. I got bored of writing this script here. Could not think of a way to make it funny. Will continue in the hopes I do.) Well it was my alien mother's.

Joel: Aliens don't exist.

Gary: Maybe not on this planet.

Joel: Nobody thinks aliens exist on this planet.

Steven: Because they're not aliens.

Gary: Maybe -

Steven: Maybe what? Maybe not on this planet?

Gary: Maybe not on this planet.

Joel: Are we just...? Because I decided I'm not retarded.

Police: Joel Herkins you're under arrest for hatecrimes!


Joel: What'd I do?

Police: You said retarded.

Gary: You just said retarded.

Police: That's different.

Steven: How?

Police: The Police do hatecrimes all the time.

fin

So there we go, this whole "intentionally awful" shit was all a ploy to get my true message across about police brutality. As you have no doubt inferred, this script was not awful.

IT WASN'T SHUT UP AND GO HOME

No wait, I have a joke. What starts with R and was a hit by the Police? Rodney King.
Thanks, Ladies and Gentleman. I've been John and you've been had.

2 comments:

Fenghar The Nord said...

AND WHEN I HAVER.

YEAH I KNOW I'M GONNA BE

I'M GONNA BE THE MAN THAT'S HAVERIN WITH YOU!

Anonymous said...

Very Interesting!
Thank You!