By My Watch It's Boombox Time

Went running. Got a stich, that hasn't happened for a while. I only got it because I ran where I would normally walk and I would normally walk because there normally isn't a group of men standing around a car looking suspicious.

Anyway, this script is based around an ad I've seen on youtube a lot and seemingly without reason.

Firm buttocks; Sexy Veil

Outside an office building. We move in to the reception and are greeted by Fiona, the head of the company.

Fiona: Hi there! If you'll just follow me, the first thing we'll be seeing is the meeting room.

The meeting room. A team of advertising exec lookalikes around a table. Greg is in charge and standing up. You could say he was large.

Fiona: The meeting's just starting.

Greg: Okay, CombiCorp want us to combine two things that you don't normally see.

Sheila: Spiderman and dildos?

Greg: Keep it clean, Sheila.

Keith: Bread and cheese.

Greg: That sounds too close to a cheese sandwich.

Keith: What if we made the cheese...the outside?

Greg: Keith, this is a company of imagineers, not sandwich rethinkers. But I like it. I'll write it down for the next time we deal with Apple. They may want more food based products.

Greg gets onto his knees and enters an ideas trance.

Greg: My mother...she always wants to go to church. What if...what if it was a different church...religion? Islam. Islam and something else...something modern....something sexy....but with computers...porn...no no no....A dating site! Yes.

Joan: An Islamic dating site! What an idea.

Greg: Okay, now how do we market it?

Keith: Adverts on youtube seems the sensible choice.

Greg: Soooo, when people watch muslim videos?

Keith: No no

Greg: Dating videos?

Keith: I think just putting them on every video would work.

Greg: Ahh, the old cartoon-yourself approach. A classic.

Sheila: What if this gets big?

Greg: I hadn't thought about that. We'll need a TV advert.

Joan: I know just the thing.

Later. Greg is presenting to CombiCorp.

Greg: I'm about to show you the advert. I think it's best to let you decipher what we came up for you based on what your customer will see.

A black screen. Suddenly a hawk is on screen and talking directly to the viewer.

Hawk: I represent the Hawk.

Turtle: I represent the Turtle.

Hawk: Die, fiend.

Turtle: I shall cower in my shell.

Hawk: Truly the hawk is more noble than the turtle.

Turtle: I cannot dispute this truth.

Narrator: EVERYBODY IS ISLAM NOW

End.

Greg: The product we came up for you...is an Islamic dating site!

Lucy: Wha-

Henry: Why did you come up with a product?

Lucy: You're a printing company. We sent you what we wanted and you were supposed to print it and ship it. Today!

Greg: We very recently changed direction and decided we hated being a printing company and would now be imagineers.

Henry: But why didn't you tell us?

Greg: We decided that we would like to keep all of the customers we accrued as a printing company, and that the easiest way was to keep our old name.

Henry: Well, what did you do with all of your printing equipment?

Greg: Oh SHIT!

The printing equipment explodes because it hasn't been turned off and has printed infinity copies of a pizza leaflet.

So, an ending with an explosion. I like it; it's dramatic. And I can see why it exploded. If I had to describe delicious pizza but was never allowed a slice, I would murder my masters via my death.

In many ways, this was an allegory for the poor, many of whom are forced to describe pizza.