Game

Salt Game. You know the rules.

Get Back to Your Roots

It's the new game show from ITV, "Get back to Your Roots!". It's a hybrid show, involving mindless guesing ( a la Deal or No Deal) and mild racism all involved in the central theme of puns around the word "root".

Round One

We've hidden some root vegetables in these boxes, and all the contestants have to do is work out what's in their box.

Is it a potato? Yes. A lot of them are potatos.

Is mine a potato, also? No. It's a carrot. Some of them are carrots. We could only remember two root vegetables.

Is mine a carrot? No. It's a potato.

Round Two

We've found some people who aren't from the United Kingdom and dressed them in shiny mirroball suits. Guess what country they're from, using only they're face.

India! No. How could that possibly be true?

China! Close, it was Japan, but her parents are from China.

Africa! Ok, first of all Africa isn't a country, and also that's quite racist to assume that all black people are from Africa. He's from North America. He's a mormon and likes long walks in the rain.

The black man and the Presenter begin to kiss.

Israel! That's...correct. How did you work it out?

I'm blind to race.  I see. That's very liberal of you.

I see only the person.

Round Three

In which we mix Rounds One and Two together. All the contestants have to do is guess which root vegetables grow in the native countries of this set of people.

Potato! Correct. Potatoes grow in most places.

Potato! That too is correct.

Carrot! Wrong. You really should have said potato.

I didn't want to take the easy way out.

Rhubarb! That's not a root vegetable. And even if it were, it's wrong.

And at the end of the game we total up the points and the people with the most go  on an all-expense-paid trip to Sheffield.

The show is made in Australia.

Games to be Played

It's a very simple mind game to be played with a friend. Obviously, like most mind games don't tell the person you're playing it with that you're playing.

Here are the rules. Try to get your friend to say the word "what". Time yourself doing so. Obviously the quicker the time, the better you are at the game. If your friend finds out you are playing, they will probably try to play with you and get you to say it. This is one of the many joys of the game.

Sketch Idea

Anthropomorphised keyboard. Get's typed on. The Keyboard is like the estate and the keys are like individual characters, so the space bar could be a slut or something, because she always gets touched? I don't know, man, I just come up with the ideas.

Peace out, home dawgs.

Welcome...now get out!

Ok, if you're reading this and you aren't me, I'd quite like you to leave. This is just a place for me to post my ideas, and I don't need other people reading them. Get out please.

Ideas begin now.

A new game that doesn't have a name yet, where you watch cars go past and work out where they're going and why.

A cartoon series about a foot surgeon called "Dr Feet". This is not a good idea.

Ideas end.