The First Step is Admitting You Have A Problem

No poem today only serious issues

Government trying to keep the black man down

Sending out crack and inventing AIDs

Tryin' to put every nigga in a hospital gown

But I guess it's better than prison or a foreign war

We shouldn't revolt; we should beg for more

Bend over for whitey til our backs are sore

Work real hard til our hands are raw

So I haven't done this for a while, because of the circumstances. Nah, it's because they're hard and I've been trying to get enough sleep so the scripts have been missing out.

SO BEARING THAT IN MIND IMMA DO IT TOMMROW nah I'm just playin'

Get Thee to a Punnery

A guy is pitching ideas to another guy, it's for tv programs and we've actually already seen this. Here is the original, same characters. I haven't reread it, so if they died or something at the end, a wizard did it.

Tom: So, Peter. What do you have for me?

Peter: Tom, I've got the hot shit. I've got the pizza pie, the Marty McFly, the flying castle in the sky.

Tom: You're fired!

Peter: Maybe this will change your-

Tom: You're fired!

Peter: Eat Your Fruits and Vegetables! Two teams have to eat as many flamboyant homosexuals and coma patients as they can.

Tom: I like it! But I suspect your next idea will be shit!

Peter: Get Your Fruits and Vegetable! Two teams have to chase down as many flamboyant homosexuals and coma patients as they can.

Tom: Nurse! Nurse!

Peter: I don't

Tom: That's the sound I'll be making when I die on my bed of money thanks to that idea! But it would be foolish to expect that because a mountain has gone upwards it doesn't end in a peak. You're fired unless you can pitch without a hitch!

Peter: It's a pop singer, called Jerarde. He's from France and all the songs he sings involved the following rhyme, "Loves an emotion, love's a commotion. I'm rocking for you on my heart locomotion."

Tom: TV?

Peter: We could put him on TV...

Tom: ...

Peter: ...

Tom: ...

Peter: Okay, well you've got candid camera.

Tom: Yeeeeees

Peter: The opposite of that!

Tom: Sooo, non-hidden cameras?

Peter: For not-pranks that are incredibly harmful! All filmed in bolivia.

Tom: But wasn't candid camera on TV?

Peter: I see the issue.

Tom: I am writing down that you pitched a failure.

Tom roots through his desk and finds a book. He opens the book and it is a table with Peter's successes and failures. The successes are many and this is apparently the first failure.

Tom: To go with all your other innumerable failures. You better pitch without a hitch, Peter.

Peter: You already-

Tom: Pitch!

Peter: I don't really have anything left, I kind of thought you'd go for the candid camer-

Tom: PITCH YOU BAG OF SHIT

Peter: Okay uh, it's called Fairly. Rapey. Igloo. Eskimos. Needling. Disco. Spiders.

Tom: Go on.

Peter: It stars the handler of the disco spiders. He's really funny. He's a Comic. Handler

Tom: Like a C.Handler?

Peter: Yeah, and there's the robot, Monitor. Cassette. Amplifer

Tom: Moni.C.A.

Peter: Yep, and also Phoebe, Ross and Joey.

Tom: We've got a contract with Jennifer Aniston. We need to find her a new TV spot. She hates film now.

Peter: Well, we could incorporate the character of Rachael from friends into this.

Tom: I know why you get the big bucks, Peter.

Peter: Thank you sir-

Tom: But there's still a whole world out there you don't know! I'm still the teacher!

6 months later. Margery and Ted are watching at home.

Ted: Is this Friends?

Margery: No dear, it's F.R.I.E.N.D.S....wait.

Ted: Time to revolt!

They revolt. Storming the Studio and-

That's another story for another time. What I'm gonna do is post a different story tomorrow, then we'll pick up this one possible the day after, allow I may feel differently then, of course.

YOU ARE SLAVES TO MY WHIMSY